Meditation Struggles

August 28, 2016


Struggling Morning Meditation


5am. The house is dark. I light a candle and 

find my seat.

My ankles itch.

I’m cold.

I get a blanket and wrap up inside it.

I pull it like a cloak around me and over my head.

I cannot disappear from myself.


I watch my thoughts wander around.

I point one out, See! A thought!

What's it doing?

I make it sit down and be quiet.

Then comes another. Then another. 


Mental space gets thinner and opens up

like a predawn sky

I see light. 

The light has no inner dialogue

and no judgment. It is quiet. 

The light changes, but is present for an eternity 

or half a minute, but it was there.

That is what matters: 

Forty-five minutes in the dark

to see the light.

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